Working Mom

I've been home for the past 13 weeks, 12 of which were spent getting to know and loving on my new baby girl. I'm slowly starting back to work this week and going back full time next week. Unfortunately we aren't in a position for one of us to stay home so Avery went to daycare for the first time yesterday. I think I feel less at ease because this is not our first choice center. We're still on a waiting list there. Depending on when a spot opens up, how well adjusted Avery is here, and how happy we are will determine if we move her or not. It's not the first time I've been away from her, but it was a rough day. 

I've worked at my PRN job a few times during my maternity leave, the first time being when Avery was a few days shy of four weeks old. She's even stayed overnight with my parents (in a hotel room right next to ours, butheyitcounts). I had no problem leaving her with Darrell or either set of grandparents because I knew, without a doubt, she would be taken care of.

Daycare is a whole other story. I'm leaving my child with strangers. I don't know them and they don't know her. Sure, they are all certified and trained, but not specifically to my child. They don't know the tricks to get her to sleep or her cues that she's hungry. They'll figure them out, I know. I hate knowing that her needs may not be met immediately but with 7 other babies, it just can't always happen. I just have to trust that they will be met.

As a professional that has worked with children in early intervention I know how beneficial daycare and preschool can be, especially a good, nurturing environment. I also know in the long run this will be great for her socialization, but at 12 weeks it really kills me. At 12 weeks, babies need to be with their mamas. And mamas need to be with their babies. The lack of support this country gives new mothers is disappointing. We get tons of care and love when we're pregnant, but once that baby is out it's time to pull yourself back together and get back in the game. The US really should take note of maternity leave in other countries. Many get six to twelve months with some portion of the salary paid. 

End rant.