The best laid plans...

My sweet little love is a little over two weeks old. I'm not exactly sure what I thought life with a newborn would be like, but I've sort of been in a sleepless, overwhelmed fog. I really wish someone would've told me, straight up, no sugar coating; Newborns are hard. I wouldn't give away these moments for anything, but they've been hard. 

The best advice we got just so happened to be the advice we didn't take...sleep at the hospital! Avery was born at 1129pm so it was after 3am when we got to a room. After her breathing situation earlier, and not to mention childbirth, I could not sleep that first night. I stared at her in pure awe and amazement...and to make sure she was breathing. Our families arrived the next morning and we had visitors off and on all day. And then night two happened...cluster feeding. A wanted to nurse constantly. Hours at a time. She'd fall asleep on my boob, I'd put her down and she'd cry. The only thing to soothe her was more nursing. Repeat for two weeks.

Everything we read online said it was totally normal, newborns nurse constantly. Some people agreed. Some people said there was no way she was hungry so much. Some people said I should pump to see how much she is getting. And me? I cried, a lot. I didn't know what to do. All I knew was it felt like she was attached to me 24-7. I love my child but I was losing it. I felt like the worst mother ever for feeling that way, so I just pushed through exhaustion and let her nurse...all day, every day...because that's what newborns do. 

When she was a day shy of two weeks old I went to a breast feeding group at the hospital led by a lactation consultant and a nurse. We weighed in at the beginning and A was weighing in at 6lb,13oz. She was 6lb,12oz at her checkup 2 days after discharge. She was supposed to be back up to birth weight at 2 weeks old, the next day. So we nursed and weighed again to see how much was transferred. Still 6lb,13oz. The LC recommended I go home, pump & see how much I could get. The goal was 1.5oz and she gave me some syringes to feed her with since bottles aren't recommended for a few more weeks. She also prepared me that the pediatrician will most likely want us to supplement.

I pumped, got right at 1.5oz of breast milk and attempted to feed her with a syringe. And cue breakdown. Feeding my two week old via syringe is something I never pictured. It was so...distant. She's not a science experiment. I got a bottle and cuddled her close. She did great!! 

The next morning was her 2 week appointment. It's good that I was prepared for being told we needed to supplement with formula, because between that and the doctor saying things like "don't worry baby, I'm going to feed you" and "you must be starving poor thing", I probably would've lost my mind. Yea, I've been starving my child for 2 weeks because I had no idea what I was doing. Just what every mother wants to hear. Anywho, we gave her her first bottle of formula as soon as we got home and for the first time in her two weeks of life she was quiet and content. I was the happiest mama on this earth!! 

For now I am pumping and supplementing with formula. I'm not getting a ton of BM so she's getting formula the majority of the time. It was not the plan, but whatever makes a happy baby makes a happy mommy and daddy. And full baby equals happy baby!! We have the happiest baby now :) She's been busy catching up on eating and sleeping!

Welcome to the world Avery Laiken

The short version: Avery was born on her due date, 6.4.13 @ 11:29pm. She was 7lb,5oz and 19 inches of pure perfection.

We were quickly approaching Avery's due date; Tuesday, June 4, 2013. I had been having some (what I now know as minor) contractions since Sunday (well actually for a few weeks, but those were way more sporadic) but they were never consistent or painful, just uncomfortable. The same continued Monday so mom and I decided to go walk around the mall to see if I could get anything going. They definitely increased in intensity so we decided to head home. They got anywhere from 7-10 minutes apart so I decided to go to bed and see what happened, knowing that if it was real labor, they would continue.

I woke up Tuesday morning without contractions and we headed in to my 40 week OB appointment. I was 3 cm and 80% effaced. That was progress but I have to admit I was a little disappointed because I had been 2cm and 70% for 3 weeks. We sat an induction for the following Tuesday but he reassured me my body was prime for spontaneous labor at any time. Of course my overly anxious husband asks if it was going to be that day. He said probably not that day but he wouldn't be surprised if it were just another day or two.

Mom and I hit the road again running errands and going to lunch. I was definitely starting to feel more intense of something, but at this point I was questioning if I even knew what contractions were. After lunch I decided to go home and lay down. I woke up about 4:30 and started doing stuff around the house with my mom. By 5:15, I was starting to get some stronger pains pretty frequently and opened up my neat little contraction timer app. I was told to head in when they were 3-5 minutes apart for 2 hours and I couldn't walk or talk through them. They were steady at 4-5 minutes and every time one came I was bending over the back of the couch. I called Darrell and gave him a heads up but told him we'd head in we got home at 8. By 5:45 he called to check in and I couldn't talk to him so my mom told him to head home then. At this point, they were coming closer to 3 minutes apart. I was so nervous that it wasn't really labor and they'd send me home.

We got L&D around 615 and they took me right back, checked me and asked if I wanted an epidural and I told them I did when I was 5-6 cm. The nurse checked me and I was 5 cm and 90%. Another nurse came in and took labs and when I asked what it was for, she said the epidural. I didn't even realize they were admitting me :). We got to our L&D room at 7 & by this point I was having contractions every 2 minutes. I was doing good breathing through them, but what was hard was how quick they were coming and I didn't feel like I had time to recover before another one hit. I was really wanting that epidural at that point.

The anathesiologist finally came in at 9:00. He was looking over my records and was very concerned about my history of spina bifida. I had a consult with another anathesiologist from his practice and he felt confident that I was a good candidate but that paperwork didn't get sent over. He was asking me all types of questions about my surgery that I couldn't answer so thankfully my mom was there by this point to answer them. After looking at my scar he felt confident. He was going over the risks with us and poor Darrell was terrified. He was more nervous than I was. The dr was amazing and everything went smoothly. It kicked in immediately and I never felt another contraction. I felt what felt like a Braxton Hicks one time and after that I was feeling awesome! 

 

The nurse came in to insert the catheter and checked me again and I was 7cm by 9:30. The OB came in about 30 minutes later and decided to break my water. There was a little meconium so the dr. explained that NICU would be in the room just in case.  I was 8cm at this point, still 90% effaced. Baby was sunny side up so we did some repositioning to see if she'd turn. I started feeling some pressure in my right tail bone but nothing unbearable.  When I flipped to my right side it got a little more intense. I was supposed to lay in that position for 45 minutes but after about 20 minutes I told her I was feeling lots of pressure. She told me I could bear down if I needed to but to definitely let her know if I felt my body was pushing and I couldn't stop. I was to that point about 10 minutes later. I don't think she believed me because she kept talking to me about laboring down and letting the baby move down on her own without pushing too soon.  She checked me and I was complete, baby was coming! The OB came in, confirmed it was go time and that Avery had almost turned completely so she was working on flipping her a little more. 

My epidural was so good I didn't even know when to push. My OB turned the medicine down and we started pushing right at 11. 5 or 6 contractions later, Avery cried her first tiny cry at 11:29pm on her due date. 

Then everything got scary. They put her on my chest immediately. She was opening her mouth like she wanted to cry but she wasn't making any noise and wasn't turning pink. The NICU team already left since she came out crying and the baby nurse started suctioning her on my chest..still, no reaction. They had to take her to the baby warmer and I could see them put a pulse-ox on her and the monitor. The oxygen flashed 80 and heart rate was in the high 180s. I was hysterical as they put an oxygen mask on her and people were rushing trying to get her stats stable. They reassured me everything was fine but wanted to take her up to get her stable and monitor her.  Darrell went with her and my mom came in in his place. I was such a mess but he was constantly texting updates and pictures to my mom. She looked good and they brought her back to me about 2 hours later. We are so in love!!

                                           
                                      My baby girl! Crying hysterically does nothing good for pictures...

Our first family photo.Clearly I'm not one of those who labor gracefully and look amazing after giving birth.

Our first skin to skin time. This is probably my favorite thing in the whole world.

Baby burrito :)

She was so awake and alert, trying to hold her little head up.

                                                 Going home outift, hanging out with daddy!

                                                                            Home!

Due date is here!

I  am: 40 weeks, our due date is here, but our baby isn't...yet!!

Baby is the size of a(n): jackfruit and I have no idea what that is.

I've gained: 27 pounds. I'm happy with that!

Maternity Clothes: Yep!

My mood: READY READY READY!

 

Gender: baby GIRL, Avery Laiken Gibbs!

Cravings: Not much. I'm actually not really hungry and am having to force myself to eat. I guess I'm running out of room.

What I'm missing: overall comfort, but it's almost over!

Highlights/ Exciting moments: I've been having lots and lots of contractions all weekend and they finally became consistent last night. Mom and I walked all over the mall yesterday and around 830 contractions started and were coming every 7-10 minutes, but weren't unbearable.  By midnight, they were 5-6 and a little more uncomfortable. The plan is to go to the hospital when they are 3-5 minutes for two hours and are difficult to walk and talk through.  I decided to go to bed around then and try to get some sleep since I had an appointment this morning. I slept on and off and woke up a few times with strong, painful contractions. It made me want to spring out of bed, but that doesn't come easy these days.

At my 40 week appointment this morning, I was 3cm and 90% effaced..woohoo!! and still contracting! I was really hoping he'd say "you're 5 cm and in labor" but that didn't happen :(  He did however say that I am very favorable for a spontaneous labor at any time (fingers crossed) but we did set up an induction for either next Monday or Tuesday (the hospital will call to let us know when we need to be there). I do not want to be pregnant for another week so I'm coaxing this little girl out!

I am really hoping to avoid an induction, especially pitocin..horror stories, ya know? BUT, my dr said that IF it were him working next week he would just break my water when  I got there to see if that got labor going on it's own. He advised me to request that if I didn't want pitocin to start with. So that's the plan for now! I may still have to get the medical induction if breaking my water doesn't get things going on it's own, but at least we'll get to try first.

So now we wait...and walk, and bounce, and eat spicy food, and wait...


And here we are today, our last (hopefully) black dress picture! If we do make it until next Tuesday, I'll do another one!